Le Tour de Farce

Le Tour starts this weekend, and after getting hyped up for the battle between Ullrich and Basso, it's now not going to eventuate as at least one of them won't be there. Where's the justice? Either ban 'em all, or let them all ride.

You couldn't say Ulle was fat this year!


Shame we won't be seeing this....


*Edit to add: Basso and Mancebo out too. This makes the Festina Affair of 98 look like child's play. But honestly, is it really a shock to anyone who follows Pro Cycling? No. From Coppi to Merckx right through to these guys, there has always been doping, and always will. Of course Armstrong never doped though. I bet that smug prick is having a good ol' chuckle to himself, having gotten away with it (for now). A certain contributor to this blog (see comments) related to me tonight his theory that the one-balled Yank is behind this scandal.... I think it's so far-fetched that it could just be plausible! Whatever the real story is, I guess we'll never know, but one thing's for sure; I still love riding my bike, and I'll always watch and support the guys who put food on the table by riding theirs.... doped to the eyeballs or otherwise.

Hopping has it's Ups n Downs...

A mixed couple of weeks for our favourite trials riding guru, Tomkinson. As his preparation for the MTB World's Trials title steps up, a great win at the 1st round of the National Series in QLD had him on Cloud 9 (as far as anyone can tell... he's so laid back that he needs a mattress behind him at all times). Then last weekend, returning home from riding in Sydney with his mates, his bike was stolen from the train... f'in scumbags. So if you see anyone riding (hopping) around on this bike, seize them and bring them forth for flogging.



But the lad is lucky he has friends like Christian, who offered his wealth of knowledge in the following tips on bike set-up...

"Tomky mate. After looking at the photos I've realised a few things that I'll share with you to further your riding. First of all we have to flip that stem over and reduce the rise height in your riser bars. Secondly whoever set your seat height needs a bullet. Not only will you get terrible efficiency but you'll eventually ruin your knees and lower back. Coming from a road background, I can respect the rigid fork, But it appears the person who set your seat height may have also chosen your gearing. Your front chainrings are WAY too small to gain any speed whatsoever. Anyway mate I'll get the word around and maybe we'll find the guy that did your set-up at the same time."

Wise words, indeed!

But seriously, this is a rare bike, and stands out like dog's balls, here's Adam's description...

"The serial number I dont know fully but it had 'ECHO' in it somewhere, it shouldnt be too hard to spot, the rear hub was a Hope Pro 2 ss/t. It was the only one in Australia that I know of. The Middleburn Pro Trials cranks are pretty rare too. The police know it has been stolen.
Thanks for your help.
Adam."

I'll say it again, F'IN SCUMBAGS.

The Perils of Endurance Racing...

*WARNING: The following images should not be viewed by children, the elderly, or anyone in between who is weak of stomach or mind. These men are untrained amateurs. Kids, do not try this at home, or anywhere else for that matter. These men aren't attractive at the best of times, put them on a bike for 8, 12 or 24 hours, and the results are shocking. You've been warned.



Your left arm will shrink during the race, rendering arm warmers useless.



You will be delusional, thinking that you are buffed and attractive to members of the opposite, and same, sex. You're not.



You will look like you've stepped into a vicious Anthony Mundine right hook. You haven't, but you will wish you did.



You will eat questionable 'food' prepared by questionable 'chefs' at 2am, just so you can sit in front of their heater.



You will sit in a lawnchair for an hour with your Camelbak still on, unable to feel it. You will still have the presence of mind to feel yourself though.



You will sit in your car for an hour, perplexed as to where the steering wheel has gone.



You will lose your hair. "I think I saw some of it down there, can you pick it up Gaz?"



You will be so tired, you will fall asleep while changing outfits, leaving you with horribly clashing jerseys/shorts/socks. You won't care that your socks haven't been washed (or fashionable) since the 2000 Olympics.



You will be startled in the middle of the night. "Who is this woman, and why is she trying to steal my socks?"

Foz's (well, Linc's) Fotos

Here's a few pics from the 8 hour from the lens of the pornstar himself, Foz. (Edit: Linc told me today they are actually from his camera!)



Haven't I seen you on the Internet?





2 guys racing to avoid a blow-up crocodile in a kid's pool.... Christian rekindles his old roady-scum tactics, i.e slamming the door shut on some poor solo rider in the first 5 minutes. I wouldn't stand for that, Stu.




A wabble of wowdy webels. Fashion gurus, not.



The start line crush. Look in the middle, there's Deano (in blue/yellow, arms crossed) getting in prime possie, right next to Matt Fleming (the renowned fastest first lapper in Aus.). That's how Deano is thinking these days, he knows he can mix it up with these guys now. Hey Scotty, I'm gonna steal him for next year!!!

From the Pits

A few more pics from the 8 hour.



This is all Nathan had at 9 on Saturday night. Not only did we create something from this, it didn't even fall apart.



Yeah, you won't be so smug when your gears don't work and your chain's jammed will ya?



He looks so meek and mild doesn't he? Then he gets on a bike. Deano's in some form at the moment, and came through at the end of the first lap in 4th, mixing it up with the big guns again.



The beast... it stayed fairly clean as I didn't get on the track for the first 2 hours. I did the last lap, so lights were required but not completely necessary for me, but some guys finished in total darkness. It was a blast to race the 'singly', I'll be doing it more often.



Christian's beast... a lot muddier as he did the first 2 laps. His first one (a 46min) set us up for our 2nd place. His freewheel went south on his 3rd lap, followed by his legs on his 4th.

Better late than never or The dog ate my homework

Yeah it's a week since the 8 Hour but due to a 'technical malfunction' my attempt to get something up last week was foiled. Alas, here are some pics from what turned out to be a great day. The rain we'd had all week and right up til Saturday night stayed away all day, and the track became faster and smoother as the day went on. Christian joined me and Tomky when Ebo pulled out the night before, not wanting to get mud in his hair. So the Scared Shiftless Singlespeed Society wreaked havoc in the 3 man category, finishing second. Scotty and Deano laid waste to the Masters again, putting a lap into the Magnets' old foes, the Old Bastards. And Cozza celebrated his birthday (God knows how old that man is) with a 3rd in 4 man with Foz and the Amidy boys. Kedos sucked, well his chain did anyway, but he kept us all entertained and/or horrified with his sideline barracking/heckling. If a picture paints a thousand words, then here's 236.




Tomkinson practices balancing for the upcoming Hop Worlds. Oh look, who's that lurking? Some non-riding type guy.



Christian and Stuey battle it out to see who can avoid the crocodile jump first. Stuey did 10 laps solo, the same as our team.



Christian realises Tomky has taken his beer by mistake. He caught him after 12 metres. No-one takes Christian's beer and lives.



The K-man never stopped smiling all day. Here he smiles as a putz passes, and eventually drops him.



Scotty and Deano execute a flying-imaginary-baton-hand-off, saving vital seconds, despite being 15 minutes ahead of second place at the time. Na, they're not serious.

Ducks and Singlespeeds

Great weather for em... It's gonna be a mudfest on Sunday at the Working Week Series at Killi. But the show must (and will) go on, according to Stu the promotor, so the Scared Shiftless Singlespeed Scociety might come into their own as the geared bikes clog up with crap, cables get gritty, and chains are sucked into the abyss of the bottom bracket, while me and Tomkinson forge on unhindered. Or we'll just sit under the tent and have a few beers and a barbie and leave the riding to the brave, or foolhardy. Here's an artist's impression...

Stick a Fork in me, I'm done.

It may not be a new bike, or frame, but it's new! And it's sweeeet. Ordered a new fork today, the Fox Float XTT. Dirt Works are clearing out their 2006 stock at awesome prices, so I got this baby at almost half price. And the beauty of it is, it is a 130mm travel fork, but can be converted to 100mm also... so when I do decide which new frame I'm gonna get, it will handle either choice. Stumpy? 130. Epic? 100 for you. It's coming converted to 100mm, so it will slip on the front of the ol' girl perfectly, and my existing Float 100 will be gracing the front of the Singlespeed. Anyone want to buy a Rock Shox Recon? I'll stick it on Ebay, it's only got about 200km on it, after I tested it for the mag, and picked it up at a nice price. Pretty good fork too, not in the Fox class, but what is? I think the Trail Tune valving will be cool on the Epic, should work well with the Brain on the back... (check that link out, it's pretty cool.) Should be here for the weekend, so I can tune those trails. Apparently there's a bit of a track setting day out at Killi on Sunday for the weekend after's Working Week Series 8 Hour race... Timmy's coming up for a look, he's doing the race solo I think. I still want to have a crack at a solo '8', but looks unlikely this series, as the next round clashes with the Coffs 100k'er. So many races, so little fitness, I mean time....