The troll returns....

...in a skirt! Yes, it's the snot-dribbling man-who-swallowed-a-sheep, back to get his tyre pumped up for the umpteenth time until he can afford a new tube. He came in two days ago, I was having lunch, and Matt came down and said "can you serve this gentleman please, we've got a shop full of customers." Being the nice guy I am, I came up onto the floor to see the big nutter standing there. I'd been duped. Today I tried the same trick, but Matt was awake to it and I ended up dealing with him, while Big 'stealthy' Nath snapped the grainy image you see here.

Dirt Fix

Working six days a week can really suck. So can riding the road all the time. So with Nigel back from his European odyssey, I had my first non-Sunday off for five weeks. I realised the Stumpy hadn't seen any action for a couple of weeks too, due to rain and the lure of long rides on the Langster. Only one thing to do; hit Makara! The sun was shining again in the land where "it always rains" (still trying to work out who the idiot was that said that before I left Australia) and the toes were tickled by a chilly breeze. I think I'm used to the cooler weather, because it doesn't seem to worry me as much as the locals, who always seem to be complaining that it's cold. I've probably ridden more here this winter than I do at home in the same season. The trails were in superb condition, only a few puddles along the singletrack, the traction perfect. I soon remembered why I love riding the dirt so much. After Koru, Salley Alley and Missing Link, I stopped briefly at the start of Aratihi to check out the fauna. I heard some riders back down on Link, then headed off up to the start of Leaping Lizard, and looped back down Nikau to the same spot where I'd started. Up the climb of Aratihi, I felt that pushing around a fixed gear (yeah, and sometimes the freewheel) on the road has really helped with my strength. Maybe it's just a placebo, who knows, I'll take it. At the top I ran into the group of riders I'd heard before.
They took off down Ridgeline not long after my arrival, and as I watched them crawl their way along the top, I decided they might be a while, so I took off down Zac's Track. This is an awesome trail, winding along the side of the hill, before dumping you out at the start of Vetigo. I climbed back up the fireroad to the Peak instaed, so I could enjoy Ridgeline, unfettered. I had the flow going all the way down to the Extension... twisting through the trees where Josh had his head-cracking off last night ride, then the best way to finish a ride ever, SWIGG and Starfish. The other bunch had just got back, so my timing was perfect... as was the day, reminding me just why mountain biking in Wellington rocks.

This kid could really get hurt...

oh, wait.... Ok, so it wasn't an accident that put him in the chair, but he's got bigger balls than me.

Let Bruce be Bruce

Apparently this man has been causing a bit of a stir over at Josh's blog by leaving some 'fruity' comments. Unfortunately Josh has stifled the controversial one's right to free speech and has removed said comments. So I'm starting the 'Let Bruce Be Bruce' campaign.
Bruce, if you're out there, you're more than welcome to have your say on my blog. Who are you? Was there some past sordid connection with you and Josh? Reveal yourself Bruce, we need you.

In the meantime, check out some of Bruce's infamous work here.

The Dead Zone

The shop has been deader than the follicles on Josh's head. The weather has been colder than that comment. The wind has been worse than Matt's. Okay, that's an over-exaggeration. Saturday was a glorious winter's day, with sun, a light breeze and nose-chilling air, which kept people away from the shop and out enjoying it. Oh how I longed to join them. Being the only staff member to have sold a bike all day, I used that as bargaining power to take off early and go for a spin. Halfway around Oriental Parade, I was nearly wishing I'd stayed at work. Some dickhead in a metal womb decided to impress his fat girlfriend by attempting to side-swipe a singlespeeder. As I glanced off his front guard with my foot, all I could see was her stupid fat head with the same look of horror which I probably had on my less fat, more pissed off and abusive head. He just sat there silent as I let him have both barrels in front of a packed and attentive boulevard of onlookers. They were probably well impressed by the sublime handling skills of the swearing singlespeeder.
When all is said and done, there's nothing more to say and do, so I continued on, dropping my bag off at home, and headed around the bays on my usual jaunt. At Shelley Bay, the ships rusted quietly while the jets rusted more noisily, and in the air.
This guy was out on the same ride as me, and I kept passing him after every photo stop.
The green building is the Chocolate Fish Cafe, a favourite haunt of Val and Lindsay... which bay is it?
I know this Bay, it's Breaker Bay, and these fools were braving not only the cold, but a shallow reef break (as told to me by the guy I kept passing).
On the way back around I ran into this shady character...yes, it's big Matt... the first time I've ridden with him, it tacked on a few extra k's, racking up a cool 50 by the time I got back home. The wind returned on Sunday, and tonight there is SNOW forecast down to 300 metres in Wellington. Makara Peak is 450, so I won't be going up there.

Inspirational

We had a visit today from Mark Inglis, double amputee, Everest conqueror, mountain biker and producer of the best tasting energy gel around. Just seeing him walk on his high-tech prosthetics, let alone climb mountains or ride a bike is amazing.

He has borrowed our test bike for the weekend while the marathon is on in town. Ok, I know it's in questionable taste, but it has to be said that the test bike is a Stumpy....

Art for art's sake, sushi for sake's sake

I'm gonna take up painting. Or sculpting. Or any of the 'arts'. Went to an exhibition on Tuesday with my new friend Sue (who I met at Havana, along with her friend Dolores/Mulva, a couple of weeks ago) and was dismayed by the lack of talent on display. Seriously, I've seen better paintings stuck on fridge doors with magnets and the signature 'sally aged 4'. But I got a couple of glasses of free wine, so it all evened out.

Mulva clip

We then went for a bite at Wasabi Sushi in Cuba St. I love sushi. Especially when it's on a conveyor belt going round and round in front of you, tempting you with each pass. I think I ate eel, which was a bit disturbing at first, just because it's eel, but it was pretty damn good.
Riding wise, the week started out real well, Monday to Wednesday were cold but no wind to speak of, and the Langster got three 35km rides back to back, in the dark around the Bays. I even got to play with a 'Bay road commuting road bike hero' as well. I was spinning that thing along at 40kmh on his wheel until he popped around near the airport. Just as well coz I don't think I could've spun any more! Thursday and Friday were very windy and cold, but today is gloriously sunny, a little wind, and is begging for an afternoon ride.

Matt's Mechanical Misdemeanours 652

Matt, holding a Hope facing tool: "Wots vis?"

"It's a facing tool"

"F@#k me... looks like some mediaeval sex tool"

The Emperor returns...

...to pay $2 off his lay-by!



Stevie looks bemused, even more so than usual. Pic by Big 'stealthy' Nath.

Celebrities and Nutters

Wellington being a small city has it's share of characters inhabiting it, and on any given day you can spot TV stars, socialites and maybe even the Prime Minister. But you're more likely to see some of the stranger citizens, such as Blanket Man or the guy with the gammy leg which he drags behind him around town.

The shop has had a good mixture of the famous and infamous lately. A good customer of ours is TV One presenter Simon Morton. I didn't know who the hell he was when he brought in his new Stumpy for a service, he was just a friendly dude with a cool bike. That same night though, I got a text from Matt saying "TV One, that guy with Stumpy in shop today". And there he was, presenting a series called "Why We Buy", all about consumerism and retail. Really good show. And he loves his bike. Obviously good taste.
Bald men prefer Stumpjumpers...

A few days later it was again Matt whispering "that guy's off 60 Minutes". Mike McRoberts also reads the nightly news on TV3, and he was checking out a few Specialized road bikes... didn't buy anything though. "Here's the news... Tarmacs Rock!"

Then there's the nutters. A guy came in the other day wearing tattered old clothes, a beaten cycle helmet adorned with Holden bonnet badges, and what I would describe as a cape, more like an old bedspread with a crown insignia on the back. A cane wicker basket hung from a piece of rope around his waist. Matt was serving him while we looked on in bewilderment. He wanted to lay-by a tyre... $20 we're talking. Matt asked him his name and had trouble not laughing in his face when the answer came back "Emperor Andrew Brian Bernadotte". I kid you not. I saw His Highness yesterday in Dixon St, he was right next to my car as I sat at the lights... wish I'd had my camera, he looked well regal astride his mighty steed, observing his subjects as they tried to avoid him.

A day later a scruffy long haired old bloke who looked like he'd swallowed a sheep bailed Nathan up for 20 minutes with his brilliant idea of a "one-piece bike". Matt concluded that 'one-piece' probably meant 'one-piece of shit'. While he was talking, a large trail of snot hung from his nose, which Nath enjoyed a lot... he then produced a A4 piece of paper from his pocket and cleaned up the mess, sort of. We saw him walking past the shop today, and I've never seen so many guys make a run for the safety of the workshop so fast! Luckily, he kept on walking. He looked scarily like this...