Friday, November 21, 2008

Lost DJs must die

There's a scourge on the streets. Well, there's many a scourge on the streets, but this one has particularly piqued my interest and stirred the pot of hate that wells inside me, brought bubbling to the surface of cynicism, congealing like a skin on a glass of milk curdling in the sun.

"Well what is it, Brett?" I hear you ask. "What could this travesty be?"

Let me tell ya. People walking around the streets wearing headphones. "Is that it?" Yep, that's it. Not just those little white iPod buds. No, even though they are still high on the wank-factor scale. It's the clowns who wear the full-size, made-for-djs or listening-at-home type headphones who really make me wonder if there is any hope for the future of the human race.

Good DJ

Why the f#@k do you need to be listening to music on your ten minute bus jouney, or the walk from the car to the office, or while going to buy your Starbucks 'coffee' and reading the latest issue of FHM? Because you're a wanker. You want others to look at you and think "wow, you look so cool, and I bet you're rockin some awesome tunes on those oversize cans... I want to be you". The only people thinking that are other wankers, probably sporting the miniature earbuds and suffering a chronic case of headphone envy.

Bad 'DJ'

Lost DJs. Walking the streets looking for their decks, wondering where the gig is. You're not a DJ. You're the downfall of modern society. Listen to your Nickelback, your Katy Perry, your f#@king Panic At The Disco while you step into the path of a bus. You won't be missed.

8 comments:

tristan said...

I think Josh's grumpiness must be contagious

brettok said...

*Disclaimer: This post was a little bit tongue-in-cheek, after ol' Flametop said he had some Bose headphones but hoped he didn't look like a dork. But while I do hate Lost DJs, I'd never wish them to be run over by a bus... a car, moped or rickshaw will suffice.

josh said...

Actually, Brett, it may come as a shock to you that, unlike yourself, not everyone spends their entire day worrying what people think of them. Personally, I don't really give a fuck and like listening to music on decent headphones when I'm wandering around - it beats the drivel that comes out of a lot of people's mouths, which I unfortunately have no control over. But hey, good for you if you're convinced the world thinks you're that much cooler for electing not to use them.

brettok said...

Sounds like I've touched a nerve!

As I said, it was somewhat tongue in cheek, and at least you have some good tunes.

I'd never wish that you in particular were hit by a bus, car, moped or rickshaw... maybe a sideswipe from a bike courier would do.

Flametop59 said...

I posted a self portrait of the Lost DJ on the way to work. I have gone through a bunch of ear buds and I finally got the Bose phones. The sound is great.

The only time I get to listen to music is on my daily commute. Since it is 90 minutes each way I want to make sure I am using the time.

I have to admit I do have some of the groups that you mentioned on my iPod. What can I say I have a teenage daughter? Although she does not listen to that stuff much these days.

I was trying to see where the photo that you included on your blog was taken. It looks like it is Midtown NY (The Fashion District) not far from my office.

You have officially become the Angry Mountain Bike Mechanic.

brettok said...

90 minute commute, I'll let you off with that. Don't know if I can accept listening to Nickelback though, teenage daughter or not!

And I'm really not that angry.... or much of a mechanic!

Flametop59 said...

My dad worked at a bike shop after he retired. He used to tell me about the mountain bike mechanic that he could not get along with no matter how hard he tried. He just gave up.

That is 90 minutes each way. The tunes are a must. I need to get a book now.

Mike & Karen said...

Brett, Brett, Brett. You'll never make it as a hater if you attack people for what they do and then apologise for it. Have a look around, see if you can find someone who doesn't give a f*** about what he/she says about people and take some lessons. But it was a good try and you did make some valid points. I look forward to the next one.... maybe the one about lycra shorts and baggy shirts.